|  home  |  What's New?  |  contact  |        
BrigadeVehiclesGallerynewsincidentslinks

Fun Stuff

|  RFS Recruit Commandments  |  Selection Criteria  |  Murphy's Law  | 

|  The 10 Commandments of Emergency Vehicle Operation   |

 

RFS Recruit Commandments

  • You are welcome here.
  • Smile, laugh, but don’t smirk.
  • The more we tease you, the better we like you. 
  • Don't take any of it personally.
  • Give as good as you get, but show a little respect.
  • Don’t take any crap from us.
  • We have all been where you are.
  • Sometimes, some of us forget that.
  • Your attitude is being watched closely.
  • You have to earn the right to make a cynical comment. 
  • Know your reason for joining. 
  • We consider ourselves professionals. You can be professional from the moment you join.
  • Professionalism is about attitude, not about being paid.
  • Money cannot buy the satisfaction this work brings. 
  • You are here because you want to be.
  • You may leave at any time, with no hard feelings. 
  • You are expected to say something nice after each exercise, lesson, or simulation.
  • If you can't say something nice, then fudge it - nicely. 
  • In particular, practice saying, "Thanks, I'll work on that." 
  • Pray to God that you will never have to be a hero
  • Whatever's encouraged is compulsory 
  • Whatever's discouraged is prohibited. 
  • Certain things just ARE. 
  • Do things the way we tell you - because it might save just your life. 
  • Fire is not "the beast", "the monster" or "the enemy".
  • It's just fire, and mostly it just plain hard work. 

___________________________________________________________________________________

Selection Criteria for Captains, Deputy Captains & Members

For those who are never certain about their elected rolls in their brigade

  • CAPTAINS
    Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
    Is more powerful than a locomotive
    Is faster then a speeding bullet
    Walks on water
    Gives policy to god
  • SENIOR DEPUTY CAPTAINS
    Leaps short buildings with a single bound
    Is more powerful then a switch engine
    Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
    Walks on water if the sea is calm
    Talks with god
  • DEPUTY CAPTAIN NO. 1
    Barely clears medium gum trees
    Loses tug of war with locomotive
    Can fire speeding bullets
    Swims well
    Is occasionally addressed by gods secretary
  • DEPUTY CAPTAIN NO. 2
    Steps over dog houses with ease
    Recognises locomotives with ease
    Can fire a air gun
    Can float on his back
    Can talk with gods secretary if special request is approved
  • DEPUTY CAPTAIN NO. 3
    Runs into buildings
    Recognises locomotives two out of three times
    Is not issued with ammunition
    Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a mae-west
    Talks to walls
  • DEPUTY CAPTAIN NO. 4
    Falls over door steps when trying to enter buildings
    Says look at the choo-choo
    Wets himself with a water pistol
    Plays happily in mud puddles
    Mumbles to himself
  • RURAL FIRE SERVICE "MEMBER"
    Lifts buildings
    Kicks locomotives off the track
    Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them
    Freezes water with a single glance
    IS GOD

 

MURPHY'S LAWS OF BUSH FIRE FIGHTING

  • You are not Superman.
  • If it's stupid, but works, it isn't stupid.
  • Don't look conspicuous; it attracts work.
  • When in doubt, empty your backpack on the nearest stump.
  • Never work at a fire with someone braver than you.
  • Never forget your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.
  • If your efforts are going really well, you're at the wrong fire.
  • No plan survives the first contact.
  • All firefronts 1 hour away will arrive in 30 minutes.
  • Try to look unfit, because the Group Captains may be running out of people for that rake-hoe line.
  • A fireball has the right of way.
  • When you have an area under control, don't forget to tell the fire.
  • If you are forward of your position, the helicopter will drop it's load of water short.
  • That unimportant fire you are ignoring is the main front.
  • The easy way is always full of wombat holes.
  • If you are short of everything except fire, things are going normally.
  • No fire-ready crew has ever passed inspection.
  • Things that must be together to work, usually aren't shipped together.
  • Radios will fail as soon as you need support.
  • Anything you do can get you into trouble, including doing nothing.
  • If you put out more than your fair share of fires, you will be given more than your fair share of fires to put out.
  • With a little organisation, chaos can be assured.
  • If one item is hard to get, be sure to grab three of them.
  • It is easier to receive forgiveness than permission.
  • When accused admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter-accusations.
  • Success forgives all sins.
  • That pump you have been running for ages to be prepared will run out of fuel just when the front gets to you.
  • The eight hundred metre rake-hoe line you have cleared perfectly is ninety degrees in the wrong direction.
  • Any wind blows no good.
  • Murphy never made it to Deputy!

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF EMERGENCY VEHICLE OPERATION


 
1. Thou shalt treat thy tanker as though it were your firstborn child.
 
2. Blow thy siren and shine thy light with great vigor enroute.
 
3. Know where thy goest at all times.
 
4. Be certain all those in attendance are affixed prior to venturing forth.
 
5. Thou shalt arriveth shiny side up.
 
6. Be ever so humble when thy mike is keyed.
 
7. Thou shalt not leave thy station 'til thy door is openeth.
 
8. Thou shalt not closeth thy bay door too soon.
 
9. Thou shalt closeth all compartment doors when thou art done.
 
10. Thou shalt never chastise thy driver for making a wrong turn when it results in a Return to Station